Feeling like packing up and moving today

I'm toying with fantasies of moving to Haiti while we wait for this adoption to finalize. It is so hard to think of Keanan growing up in an orphanage. I want to be with him. It would be complicated, because wehave two kids under 3. (and because picking up and moving is always complicated, much less to a 3rd world country). But the wait is really killing me. I feel like the grief over being seperated gets heavier and heavier the longer it takes. We have had the chance to visit twice, and I think about our son every day. What is he doing? How was his day? These thoughts flood my mind constantly, and I am hit withwaves of sadness and an overwhelming mother desire to be with him.

The waiting is hard.